We talk but don't communicate

Do you ever feel like you're talking to someone and not really communicating, not understanding each other?

Or perhaps you hear but aren't truly listening to what they're saying? Or what you're saying?

You're not alone; this often happens to us.

If you understood that everything in life is a relationship. Relationships are maintained or cultivated through communication.

I believe this blog will be very helpful, not only for reflection but also to generate a bit more empathy with others when communicating.

Many times, we think we're communicating or talking with our partner, friends, family, coworkers, and we're not really doing it, either for the following reasons:

1. We want to impose our point of view.

2. We don't know how to express ourselves properly (we take things very personally).

3. Believing we are right.

4. Wanting the person to be as we wish.

5. Manipulation (here comes the drama or exaggerations to the topic).

6. Not letting the person express themselves/interrupting all the time.

7. We are pointing fingers.

8. Entering into judgment or criticism.

9. Expressing an unfulfilled expectation that becomes frustration.

10. Assuming things (for example, he or she should know that's what I like. Or don't like) the million-dollar question would be: Have you told them?

Do you identify with any? or with all?

Don't worry, at some stage in our lives, we've all experienced these sensations, either from ourselves or from the person we're trying to communicate with.

• You know the saying, it's not what is said but how it's said?

That makes the difference between having a conversation or an argument with your partner.

Communication goes beyond whether you speak or not, or how much you speak. It's more about what is said and how it's said.

• When we become aware that the communication we have with another person is somehow showing us where our perception is and therefore the projection we're experiencing. It can also show us our limiting beliefs and where we need to work to improve our dialogue (starting with internal dialogue). And when we see it from responsibility, that's when we can really transform and heal our limiting programs that we have or carry for generations.

Key points to consider when having a conversation.

1. Listen. We like to talk like parrots, but how about listening?.../Not interrupting the person. Taking notes or remembering the points you want to mention or clarify later.

2. Respect is very important throughout the dialogue.

3. Recognize our weaknesses or mistakes.

4. Empathy with the person we are talking to.

5. Recognize the moment to do it without being reactive.

6. Dialogue takes two.

7. Observe our body language, how we make faces (many times our body speaks more than a thousand words and betrays us or shows what we really want to say and don't say).

8. Accept the commitment. It means there will be different points of view that you may not agree with, but as respect must exist, it is valid.

9. Negotiation or agreement. In the way of asking is the giving... negotiation.

10. Express appreciation for their qualities during the conversation.

11. Set limits when the dialogue becomes a discussion without coherence.

The important thing in any conversation or dialogue is not to lose peace and your balance. At the moment you feel it's slipping away from you, take a break, ask for space, but above all, don't go to extremes.

Often a word can hurt more than you imagine, and that can mark us.

It's much easier said than done, but when we become observers of our lives and practice this as a lifestyle, we see the evolution both in ourselves and the benefits it will bring to the person we are communicating with.

Recognizing that every situation is an opportunity to evolve, learn, and above all, heal, is for emotionally mature individuals.

At the end of the day, if we are aware that everything that is not integrated, healed, or overcome will repeat with more intensity. It's also a way to make the determination to do everything from love.

Remember that change always begins with you.

Be the change you want to see.

Love and light,

Fabiola Passariello.